I'm grateful that Loren goes to school and works both full time. But I am getting so tired of basically being a single parent. I get the kids up in the morning and put them to bed and rarely even see Loren myself. He isn't awake when I get the kids off to school and wakes up while I'm gone. And when I go to bed at night, he's usually still an hour from getting off work. Sundays and Wednesdays are usually his only days off. But aside from church on Sunday morning and lunch afterwards, we don't see much of each other then. He gets some boy time on Sunday evenings and some one on one time with Paxton on Wednesdays while I take the big kids to Awana. We've been at this for over a year. In a month, we've had two nights where we've been able to enjoy each other's company.
A while back, our pastor did a sermon on marriage. How you have to carve out time each day, week, month, and year to be with your spouse. I would love to be able to do that but it's nearly impossible with his schedule. So when he gets scheduled to work...mind you, he works full time and has no benefits...a 40 hour week of evenings and school 5 days a week, I bear the brunt of the work at home.
And while I know he works very hard at both school and work, nothing can compare to how mentally taxing raising 3 kids is. I only get 2 days a week of adult interaction. I make 3 meals before sitting down to my own. I change countless diapers and do laundry every day. Some might say that's my job as a mother. And true, I'd be doing that anyway. But I honestly don't know how single parents do this.
I'm so sick of feeling like a roommate to my own husband. At least there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Loren will be out of school in roughly 2 school years. And he'll be able to get a teaching job and won't have to work a second job. We'll have family meals. That only happens on Sunday afternoons now.
He'll see his kids for more than a few hours at a time 2 days a week. It's been so long since we've had family days!!
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