Friends, this is the first full cart of groceries we've purchased since April. Without going into too much detail, ever since Loren has been in school, we've been on food stamps. His VA disability has been a lifesaver and covers rent and bills, but doesn't cover gas or food or clothing. There have been times where Loren has made money because of his GI bill from being in the army. They basically pay for school. But we would sometimes get a kick back because Lipscomb has a veterans program which covered some of his tuition as well.
So all that said, when you're on food stamps, you have follow up interviews every so often so they can make sure you're still making the same amount of money and that your family status is still the same (i.e. no divorce, same amount of children). They do this over the phone initially. Our interview date came and went, we didn't receive a call on either of our cell phones. And we don't have a home phone. Instead of going into the office to make sure our benefits wouldn't be cut off, Loren completely spaced.
May came and our benefits card didn't reload. Still, Loren didn't go into the office. You might think, why didn't I just do it myself? Well, he initiated the claim so he is the one who has the authority to do the interview. We made it okay. At this point, Loren was already working a full time job and doing school part time. But for the entire spring semester, he wasn't getting any of the kick back from the school. In a total "God thing", his pay from Greene's was the same as the kick back amount.
We were, by no means, starving. But for 3 months, we had to make do with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, crescent dogs with baked beans, spaghetti....a LOT of spaghetti, and beans and rice. Sometimes we'd have cereal for breakfast. Sometimes graham crackers and saltines. And we got REALLY used to the Dasani and Mio water flavors. We are definitely in the lower class. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. We've lived on a lot less. And somehow, God always provides for us. He sustains us financially and spiritually and physically. I've never taken a picture of a cart full of groceries before. But I was so grateful to be able to take that photo. See, Loren went back in to the food stamps office to re-enroll because now that he's student teaching, he can't work at all. It took longer than we expected but we finally got it and our card was loaded!
And then just yesterday, when I was on my way to Rachel's house, I was a stop light at Old Hickory Blvd. There was a family there, the father selling the Contributor. I almost never buy a paper or donate. Mainly because I almost never have cash on me. But I had a dollar. A single, solitary dollar in my otherwise empty wallet. And as I watched that family, with kids from infant to young teens, I felt compelled to roll down my window and hand him the only dollar I had. Sheryl Crow's I Shall Believe playing on one of my playlists.
"But I do believe.....
That not everything is gonna be the way
You think it ought to be
Seems like every time I try to make it right
it all comes down on me
Please say, honestly you won't give up on me
And I shall believe."
I cried as I pulled away through the green light. Headed towards one of my constant life lines (my Yaya sister). I kept thinking how I've never been well off, but I've also never lived on the streets or in a shelter. I've been hungry but never starving. I've worn last years clothes, but never had to carry around every piece of clothing I own because I didn't have a house/closet to put it in.
I'm a perfect example of how God is always faithful. And while there may have been times I've been a little worried about making it month to month, I've never let it sway my 100% assurance that God is always going to take care of us and I'm always going to believe in His faithfulness. So THANK YOU LORD for your constant provision and blessings! Help me to never take it for granted that I can buy a cart full of groceries for my family of 5.
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