It's been almost 4 months since Poppy was diagnosed with brain cancer. He went through chemo and radiation treatment which totally liquified the tumor, but the cancer is still in there. They introduced him into hospice care last week. A nurse comes to bathe him everyday. Grandma and Poppy are staying with my aunt's parents. It makes it easier for Grandma since my aunt and uncle live right next door. She's always got someone there to help her.
I haven't been able to get back down there since my last visit and it looks like the next visit will be for the funeral. I welcome it. He needs to be in heaven now with the Father. Grandma says because his blood has thinned so much, he has bruises all over his body. Which makes bathing him hard because he complains about being in pain when anyone touches him. He has a bed now that will help him turn to either side so no one has to help him turn over anymore.
He's just there. His mind is all muddled because of the tumor and he doesn't fully understand what's happening to him. They could've done another round of treatment, but really it would've been prolonging the inevitable and it wasn't giving him a better quality of life.
I feel more grief for my grandmother. She's going through this knowing that she'll have to live the rest of her life without her husband and she hates to see him in so much pain. They've been married for almost 51 years now. But I know she feels comfort knowing that he'll be going home soon.
When I was explaining to Theona about how sick he was and that he'd probably be going home to heaven soon, she said, "Yeah, to his real home!" Does a mama's heart good to hear her child say something like that. And it made me feel better instantly. She gave me a knew perspective. One that I should've already had. I love my Poppy dearly, but I'm ready for him to be home. No more pain, no more sorrow, no more waiting for elusive tomorrows. To borrow some lyrics from Point of Grace.
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