I wonder

I wonder sometimes why things are run the way the are. What I thought was going to be a quick and easy in and out appointment for an emergency loan has turned into a two day fiasco. And it may end up being more than two days.

I went in yesterday to get it done. Was told of a paper I needed from Loren's "work". His rear detachment commander signed a paper for me. I took it back in. Then was told that the signature was in the wrong section. The part he signed would require me to have specific receipts of the money assistance we would need. The other section he should've signed would allow us to get anything under $1000 without addition paperwork.

Today, I went back in, with the paper signed in the right section only to be told that because I'm not the active duty soldier, I can't have the commander sign the other section for a small loan. I have to have receipts for bills and things...bills that have to be paid the first of the month.

Well, as it is, the only bills we have due on the first are cable (which they don't assist with), home phone (which is only $20 because we use Vonage) and cell phone. They can assist with one phone bill. The cell phone is only $50 and change this month. I don't need help with that.

I need grocery and gas money. I need general funds for everyday living!! $267 WILL NOT get me through 2 weeks. The cable is $140. I'm not skipping a bill payment just because the army is retarded and one of the companies that runs side by side with the army decided to take $800 from us at once. So if I pay all the bills due on the 1st on time, we'll have a whopping $50 left for groceries and gas. Now they help out with food assistance without having to have any receipts but my guess is that it'd be around $100. I can easily spend $200 on groceries with just me and the kids. But Loren will be home before the 15th so I think he'd like to eat too.

And here's what they don't know (and don't NEED to know either)...we have almost $5000. Which is being used to purchase the van I looked at on Sunday. But I can't buy it until I get some assistance from the army.

So I had to call the mechanic that has the car so he can fax them an itemized estimate of repairs for the car. And considering the thing needs a new engine, I'd say I have cause for financial assistance. But I'm still waiting on Joel to fax it over. And the loan office closes at 4:30...and they stop taking cases at around 4:10. So I have under an hour for that fax to get there.

I don't want to bug Joel to get it done either because he has deadlines too, I'm sure.

Kaden has his doctor's appt. tomorrow at 1:35...but I have to be there 15 minutes early and the appts. have been taking more than an hour because they do a stupid class before each appt.

Like I don't know what my son should be able to do by now, or what I should be feeding him!! Even if they know you're not a first time parent, they make you go anyway. So even if it's 1:35, and I've been there for 15 minutes, they don't start the class until at least most of the people are there and ready. All of the 6 month check up people will go in the class with us.

Then we get sent back to the waiting room until a doctor is ready to take us. Then we have to wait for them to get in there...and if he has to get shots, we have to wait for a nurse to come in. Then after they get their shots we have to go back to the waiting room and stay for an extra 15 minutes to make sure Kaden doesn't have any adverse reaction to the meds.

Before his appt. we'll have to do lunch. And after, I'm sure he'll need a good nap. Then we head down for choir and church. We usually leave around 5:30 so that we can get dinner on the way.

So unless I feel like getting up and ready at 7:30, I won't be able to go to the loan office tomorrow. See, it's not that big of a deal to get up that early. But to be out with two kids all day isn't fun. Let alone being out with two kids all day and one having shots. That's even less fun.

Oh...and I should add...Theona has had a fever for two whole days now. No other symptoms. Just a fever. She's been taking chewable tylenol. And the kids are both napping now. So if I do get to go back to the loan office today, I'll have to wake them both up, drag them over there, wait in the office and then finally get this over with.

I have about 15 minutes now...if I don't leave for the loan office by 4, I won't be getting it done today.

I am feel really tested right now. First the car, then this whole money mess. But it's not just feeling tested. I feel like I'm being thrown down as soon as I start to get back up. And Loren is just around the corner from getting home and he can't do anything to help me. I know being a grown up isn't supposed to be easy all the time, but can I at least get these disasters spread out a little bit?

I wonder why the army makes their soldiers jump through hoops and paperwork just to get a little help. They should be jumping at the chance to help them out. Doing whatever possible to make this time easy for families and soldiers. They should be working some kind of system for spouses left at home to handle everything. They certainly didn't do us any favors this year. We've gotten notice after notice and fine after fine for living in a really old and substandard house that we pay them over $800 a month for. He had to wait almost 4 years to be promoted to a job he had been doing since the start of this term.

I just need a little help. I feel like I'm on the verge of just breaking down completely and I wish I could. Just have a really good cry over all this. But I really can't. I have two kids who need me and it breaks my heart to hear Theona ask me why I'm sad. She has never complained about living in this house. She only wishes we lived closer to her friends. And Kaden can do pretty much anything to make me smile. I suppose they are keeping me from a total melt down. Can I just crawl into bed and not get up until Loren is home?? That'd be nice.